Don’t Waste Time
Bear with me….this one gets personal. Maybe you can relate and/or find some encouragement. …and, yes, it does eventually get to a point.
I turned 37 this year. That might be young to you but boy did it hit me and continues to hit me. That my youth (sort of) is gone. Yes, I look young for my age and I have no intention of ever being “old”, but that’s not the point. The point is the years spent and the evaluation of them. I look back at particularly the last 15 years-ish and see a LOT of time wasted. It’s sad and a hard pill to swallow. Insincere friendships, romantic relationships that I knew would never work. Years of feeling less than. Years of settling for a life and a version of myself that I never wanted. Gosh it’s hard and I am so sorry. You think - or at least I did - that there’d always be time. That “someday” I’d do this or that. I am convinced that “someday” does not happen unless you actively do something to make it happen. There isn’t this magical line that you cross and all of a sudden your dreams become a reality. When I was younger, one of my main intentions in life was to die with no regrets. I will fail at that. I have regrets.
There are some things that I can say that I’ve learned over the past few years especially recently. Here they are:
Having a community of people around you who truly love you makes all the difference.
When you have people - or at least one person - in your life who sees your worth even when you don’t, you don’t settle so much. I wonder if I would have made some of the decisions that I now regret if I had found those people who love me sooner.
Be careful with friendships. It is no credit to you for carrying on a friendship that you don’t want to be in. You are not only wasting your time, but theirs.
Your value doesn’t come from a romantic partner’s opinion of you. When it’s the “right” person, they will see your value and love you for it; but your value isn’t determined by them.
Don’t play small. Let people think/say what they want while holding yourself to your personal standards always.
Fear doesn’t have to have the final say. (I will be sharing a separate blog post focusing on fear as this has been a big issue for me).
In personal relationships, you should be treated with the same respect that you give. If you are consistently doing the majority of the “giving” or frequently being mistreated or dismissed, it’s time to back away. Listen to the message that the other person is sending by their treatment of you and believe it.
I think that many times, what made life difficult was not having a clear vision of where I wanted to be. I think being intentional about trying new things and meeting new people is especially important when you feel like you are coasting in life. Even if you don’t know exactly where you are headed, you can build relationships, have experiences and learn new skills. One interesting thing that I’ve noticed is that those “random” interests that I’ve had over the years weren’t maybe so random and line up with things that I’m doing now.
What does all this have to do with fitness and nutrition? Maybe nothing, however, wellness is all encompassing. If you are chronically stressed by a relationship, you will feel drained and may not want to work out or eat right. If you are struggling mentally, you may become obsessive about exercise or nutrition to a point that isn’t healthy. If you are depressed, you may struggle with seeing the point in getting yourself fit.
You are here for a reason. Please don’t waste time like I did. Get after it.
With Much Love,
Your Coach Martha